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Confessions of a dangerous Moose

22nd April, 2006. 11:58 pm. strange few minutes

I was walking out of Starbucks on Boylston today and this girl walked out at the same time so I held the door open for and let her walk out, she turned and said thank you, and I froze. She was about 5'7", short dirty blonde hair that was sticking out of her wool hat that she was wearing, she had a denim coat on with jeans and a long bag off her shoulder. She was the spitting image of an old girlfriend that I had that I would have married. She is no longer on this earth, that's what made me freeze. I went into stalker mode and followed this girl down the street and I tell you it was her! I didn't say anything to her, I couldn't speak, my phone rang and I didn't answer it because I really couldn't speak. She went about a block and then jumped in a cab and that was it. She walked out of my life. What was even freaker(not sure about spelling) when I stopped and she got into the cab I was standing in front of that statue on the corner of Boylston and Arlington on the public garden. This statue for some reason was the first place Jess and I took a picture of ourselves together. I walked across the street to the church and just sat down on the steps next to the bums that were there.
It was really weird.

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12th March, 2006. 8:26 pm. top five funniest moments in my life

So I was dating some judy from long Island my senior year at BU. For the purpose of this story we will call her Sara Rosenberg, a delightful girl the first date, but after that, it just went down hill. It seemed like she refused to laugh at any of my jokes or witty comments that I made. I would go out with this girl knowing I would have an awful time, I think because she was hot and out of my league I put up with her lack of personality, I know we've all done that before! So this was it, I just wanted to break up with this girl and I was going to do it after this certain night. I was supposed to meet her with a bunch of friends that she worked with(she was doing an internship) I didn't want to go, but my friends said you gotta go! So Chris said I'll go with you, it'll be great, just stop by my apartment and we'll go. Chris was a good guy(not the same chris I've talked about before) he was from Montana, a real woodsman, he had this big beard, and he always wore jeans and workboots, a good brother though. So I show up to his apartment, ring the bell, he says he'll be right down. He comes out, dressed in nice shiny kakis, polished shoes, and a his beard is gone... except for a small little mustache under his nose, that was about an inch long! Something you might see on say... HITLER! I was like what the fuck are you doing man! She's jewish, her friends are probably jewish! You can't do this! He said,"fuck her and her friends, you don't like her, you're breaking up with, let's go out with a bang!" I was like, more like go straight to hell! I said what the hell, might be fun.
We get there and the place just went silent! I mean, people just turned around and were like what the F! I played like nothing was wrong, and started introducing him,"this is my friend Chris Shultz" he would say "Hi" and hold his hand up like a nazi salute. Now for those reading this, and I doubt anyone is, you should be aware that I don't condone this sort of behavior anywhere, I am not a racist, but this chick was a bitch!
The night was the greatest, Chris was having all sorts of debates about religion, and the government how they are intruding to much into our lives, it was priceless.
We walked out of there drunk of our asses, Sara broke up with me, and told me never to talk to her again, and make sure none of my friends never talk to her again.
What a night!

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6th October, 2005. 10:50 am. THIS IS A TRUE STORY

So this guy is just about to walk into his hotel room in Chicago when he sees Bill Murray coming out of his room down the hall. He yells out, "Hey Bill Murrary", Bill Murray turns around and takes off running toward this guy, he tackles the guy, get's on top of him and puts his face about two inches from the guys face and says, "Let's see if your friends believe this"
He then get's up and walks away.

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3rd October, 2005. 12:14 am. One of the greatest nights of my life

Don't know why I was thinking of this, for some reason it came to me when I was watching the Yankees celebration yesterday and Joe Torre is balling his eyes out and gives a huge hug to Derek Jeter. It was a very emotional time for everyone, it really was wonderful. But I was thinking about Colorado, I was out there in 98 or 99 I can't remember the exact year but I believe it was November. I was visiting my friend Joe who lives out there in Boulder, we had a great meal which I cooked for Joe and about six of his friends, we had some nice wine ( I drank Coors, was looking for that real Colorado experience) and then we headed out. We headed up to the mountains packed in two cars, parked them and made our way the woods, following our flashlights. We set up camp near a huge tree that was down, but made for a great seat for all of us. Started a great fire and started to blaze a bit, then the show started a little while later. The sky was just lighting up, it was something incredible, they just shot across the sky leaving trails behind them it was something to see. I really felt in touch with God at that time, maybe I was just blazed but it was like a religous experience. The friend I had, the new friends I just met, everything was perfect that night, it really was the greatest night of my life(that even includes Jessica Caplan junior year).

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1st October, 2005. 11:09 am. HOWARD

Everyone buy your Sirius Satelite Radios yet???
Just got mine a few weeks ago, and upped my stock purchases!!!

We're going to be rich and laughing in 2006 bitches!



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26th August, 2005. 8:37 am. summer

My summer

Salem, NYC, Plymouth, NJ, Canton, Back Bay, Maine, the Shore
Can't think of anything else, pretty much an all east coast summer.
West coast in the fall
Maine sucks!
Schilling got beat last night!
New apartment is great!
Tivo is awesome

I honestly don't think life could get any better!

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25th July, 2005. 1:45 pm.

Wedding this past weekend, just incredible, partied(sp) like rock stars!

It was in Maine, talk about one fucked up backwards state.
Hey Maine, how about letting me get some fucking cell phone reception.
Nice scenary but basically a pretty white trash state.

I've slept like three hours since last thursday. going home now to sleep!

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27th February, 2005. 6:41 pm.

So Saturday morning I stumbled out of the apartment on Sutherland in Cleveland Circle. I didn't want to go there late Friday night but I did. I'm glad I did though, because it was off the hook! It was a party, like a party should be with people dancing(not just same sex), people drinking, people laughing, just doing crazy things that you do at a party.
I headed into Eagles Deli, I love that place, one of the best deli's in the Boston area. I bump into a friend that I used to know, and get introduced to her boyfriend. I don't know much about him, but he was one of the first people that I ever smoked pot with. This is going back to my freshman year of college, and then I don't know if he was even in college, but I remember always seeing him at parties, he was a good guy I guess. He doesn't remember me, he shouldn't I think we said like two words to each other when I met him and when I would see him over the years, it was just funny.

Then for some reason I started to think about Tommy Marcasota. Tommy was a bum, at least that's what we called him. He lived in my town in New Jersey, my town had an population of about 14,000 people, a rather affluent community. Tommy was an ex-ball player, as so the story went, he was drafted by the Pirates but never really made it, then hit drugs and went crazy. He lived in a house in my town, but would spend all day just walking around the town talking to himself, wearing a ratty old baseball helmut, and t-shirt. He never caused trouble, people didn't mind him actually.
One day I was over at the high school near my house, I was about 7 years old at the time, and Tommy was throwing a tennis ball against the big wall of the high school gymnasium outside. I was on my bike and was just watching, then he motioned me to come over to him. I was 7 years old, so I didn't care and I went over to him, he didn't say anything to me, he just handed me the stickball bat(which was a broomhandle) and pointed me to stand in front of the wall. Then he goes into a big windup and pitches the ball to me, I just stood there. He then says,"Uh, you're supposed to swing the bat"
He spoke to me! I never saw him talking to anyone before, and his english was pretty good and clear. So he pitched again and I swung... I hit the fucker right in the nuts!
I thought he was going to kill me I was all set to get on my bike and high tale it but he said,"Nice shot kid, hit it up the middle and you have a good chance of getting a hit"
We spent the next few hours playing stickball, he taught me how to play it, showed me how the field was supposed to be set-up when you play at the high school, he even told me how to set-up the field when I play at other places in our town.
It was great, he didn't want to hit, he just wanted to pitch, he loved to pitch. Every once in a while he would throw one in there that I couldn't see, he was a good pitcher. We didn't say much to each other, he did most of the talking, but it was very limited. He never asked me my name, I didn't ask him though I knew what it was.
For the next few years we would play stickball together, sometimes I would get a bunch of guys together and Tommy would be our designated pitcher, he loved it.
Stickball really helped me, it pretty much taught me a lot of fundamentals of swinging and fielding etc.
So when I get old and have kids and teach them how to play baseball, and they ask me is this how your dad taught you, I can say,"No, I was taught by a bum"

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21st February, 2005. 10:05 pm. postscript

Oh yeah, Stella's out of the picture. She spent the weekend with me and my nephew and brother. It was just weird, it wasn't comfortable, awkward in a way. My newphew said she was hot, so did my brother, but I guess it was late last night we were talking and she said that doesn't like hanging out with kids. I said "what"? She said that kids get all the attention. I said,"You get jealous of a seven year old?"
She said, "Not jealous, just in the shadows, the whole weekend we were together, I played second fiddle to you"
I couldn't believe she said that. I made an excuse to leave, I think when I left we both realized that I wasn't going to go back or that we would talk to each other anymore.
It was a nice three weeks up until this past weekend.
Oh well, I liked her name.

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21st February, 2005. 8:40 pm.

A friend of mine told me this quote a long time ago.
"Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow."

Wasted moments, I've had a few in my life time, moments that I should have grasped, but decided not too. Regrets I guess you could call them, sure I've had a few, but I can only count 4 of them. Would they have changed my life if I did something about them? No, I don't believe they would have, but I go on with them tucked away in my vault. I guess I am lucky because my last regret happened about 7 years ago, I will not go into detail, for it is a story that I like to keep locked in my vault.
No regrets in seven years, that's pretty good!
Live as if you were going to die tomorrow. Not everyone can do that, but I have tried let me tell you, but in the past few years I haven't been 100% forthright with that quote, I've sort of taken it easy. I have had my share of good times, with no wasted moments, but to actually live! Well I am making excuses now, but I'm a little older now, it gets a little harder to accomplish that.
Many times in this little journal of mine I bring up the past, the past when I was in college, sure it could get boring but I think that holding onto those memories and spreading the joy it brought me and my friends helps me appreciate everything I have, and will have!
There was a time from my sophmore to my senior year that I can actually say that I lived everyday like I was going to die tomorrow. I lived everyday with someone that did die tomorrow. But the more I think I about it, the more it makes me feel better about it. I can honestly say without sounding conceded that she lived her last two years on this planet with pure joy and excitement. I mope most days about it, I've talked to shrinks till I was blue in the face about it, but only recently (like in the past week or so) have I come to terms with her being gone.
I think of this because I was at the zoo this past weekend and it was cold. The zoo brings many memories, she loved animals, new every type of monkey and gorilla out there. We would go and it was like Jane Goodall was giving me a private tour of the zoo, it was awesome. I learned that some animals(I forget now)find one mate and that's it for the rest of their lives, no matter what until one of them dies, and even after one dies the other doesn't have another mate after them. That is pure love. I would love to experience that, I did for a while, but I am sorry to say that I did not keep my end of the bargain, but knowing her she understands.
But in a way I haven't felt what I felt with her since. Maybe that means I never will, and she was my only one true mate. Honestly, I could live with that, I experienced everything known to man with that woman, what more could I do?
But it is now Monday February 21st, 2004, she has been gone 11 years, but today I let her go. She is gone, I have come to terms, now I can go back to living, she would want me to do that. So look out!

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